Faith Over Chaos

Have you ever felt like you need to forgive God?
Yeah, I said it. Forgive God.
Forgive Him for the hurts you wish you could’ve skipped like a bad Netflix episode.
Forgive Him for the dream that didn’t happen, the chaos you’re convinced could’ve been avoided if He had just… I don’t know… checked His email that day.

I’ve been there.

But somewhere between my dramatic sighing and my “Lord, seriously?” prayers, I realized something uncomfortable:
I needed Him to forgive me—for the expectations I placed on Him.
For the times I decided the story should go another way.
For the moments I assumed He wasn’t there, when in reality, He was closer than my breath… probably watching me spiral like, “Sweet girl, are you done yet?”

Scripture reminds us, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord (Isaiah 55:8).
Translation: “I know what I’m doing. Please stop trying to project manage everything.”

He was doing it His way—whether He was building perseverance in me, strengthening what was weak, or letting me take the scenic route around the same mountain… again.
Honestly, I think He sometimes lets me loop it twice just so I’ll stop pretending I know shortcuts.

Working with me is definitely a whole-life process.
But the beauty?
He is here for all of it.

Even when I get angry at Him.
Even when I blame Him.
Even when I hand Him my disappointment wrapped in bitterness and call it prayer.

He knows the hurt.
He sees the ache.
And He heals—even through the anger.

David said, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).
He doesn’t flinch at our honesty. He invites it.
He’s not shocked. He’s not offended. He’s not up there clutching His pearls.

So name the ache.
Name the thing you wanted.
Name the thing you lost.
And give it to Him.

He will heal the places you’ve covered in thick, tar-like despair.
The places hardened by loss, resentment, hate, and bitterness.
He specializes in resurrection—even when the thing that died was hope.

And I won’t leave you without instructions.
If you’ve read any of my posts, you know it’s always simple.

Here it is:

Talk to Him.

Yup. That’s it.
It’s that simple.

Tell Him your disappointment.
Tell Him your anger.
Tell Him your pain.

He can handle it.
He welcomes it.
And He will heal you.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
Not because you’re supposed to be strong.
Not because you should “get over it.”
But because He cares—deeply, personally, endlessly.

And He’s not done with you.

Helping you find peace in the garden again – and yes, even if you stomped out of the garden last time.

Let’s turn this moment into a conversation with God. These questions are a good place to start.

1. What’s the ache I’ve been carrying that I haven’t named out loud yet?
2. What expectations have I placed on God that He never actually agreed to?
3. Can I remember a time when I thought He wasn’t there… but later saw that He was?
4. What would it look like to hand Him my disappointment instead of stuffing it down?